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What Ever Happened to the Traditional Wife?
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By: XSTILLA.COM
Let me start by saying this article is just one man’s opinion. By no means is this meant to be an assault on women. This is just meant to start a forum.
I remember my mother saying that marriage was like a bicycle. The man was the wheel and the woman was the spokes that held the wheel together. What a great visual. No one part more important than the other. Each part working together, as the wheel rolls along. My parents were married for 47 years before my mother died of lung cancer. Doesn’t it feel like our parents generation (sprung out of the depression) had marriages that lasted longer, as well as were stronger? Why is this? Why has the divorce rate climbed so high?
There are two “major” reasons why people get married. To start a family and for companionship. So after the children are born and the marriage is well on its way.. what happens? Somewhere along the way women have been told that there is something wrong with them if they want to stay home and take care of their children and husband.
Looking back at my child years, I distinctly remember how my mother treated my father. She would start cooking dinner around 4pm. The house was picked up and we were told to settle down by 5pm. My father would walk in almost every night to a quiet house at 6pm, (trains were never late). We would sit down as a family for dinner almost immediately. My mother would help us with our homework, bathe us and put us to bed. After that my parents would spend the rest of the evening together. Sound familiar?
My father respected my mother because he knew that he wouldn’t have the strength to work everyday without her help with the home. By the way, my father did not make a lot of money. He had two jobs!!
My mother respected my father because she KNEW that as long as she gave him a happy warm place to come home to, he could continue to get up and work, thus providing her the chance to have her home. The wheel and the spokes!
Lets not misunderstand things. They fought. There were even a few times I thought my parents were going to get divorced. But I firmly believe that what kept them together was their undying respect they had for each other while performing their respective roles in their marriage. There was never any competition amongst them. They knew each others place in the marriage..both equally important, neither able to survive without the other. I remember my father saying, “Your Mother has my back. She is always there for me!”
Here is my question: Isn’t that what every man wants? To have a wife who “has his back” ? Show me a successful marriage and I will show you a man who knows his wife has his back.
I speak from experience. My X wife never had my back. In fact she couldn’t even tell you what I did for a living. Forget the sex. Forget the money. Being married to someone who does not have your back is a very very lonely place to be.
I just can’t help but think that if husbands and wives subscribed to the wheel and spoke theory more often the divorce rate would go down. marriage shouldn’t be a competition between each other. This is obviously one mans theory, but if there is a next time for me, I want a woman who has my back. I can earn a living on my own but having someone to support me and bring some peace and tranquility to my life is what would ultimately keep me loyal and always coming home!
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