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Is Divorce Your Only Option? Whether to Stay or Go!
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By: XSTILLA.COM
At one point in time, divorce was either viewed as a sign of failure, or was forbidden due to religious reasons. Fortunately, today's society has progressed to the point that we realize the many complexities and emotional factors that go along with deciding on whether to divorce, or to salvage the marriage.
If you're struggling with the decision and feel your marriage is simply hanging by its last threads of hope and can't decide whether to stay or go, truthfully ask yourself the following five questions, paying close attention to your answers.
1.) Do you love your spouse?
The question of whether your not you still love your spouse is actually twofold. It is often said that a person can have deep feelings of affection and love someone without technically being "in love." For the best interest of everyone involved, be honest when assessing your true feelings.
2.) Do you tend to give up too easily?
It is true that couples from our parent's or grandparent's generations seemed to have stronger marriages that withstood the test of time, but did you ever really wonder why that was? Of course divorce was heavily frowned upon during that time, but it's also because people were taught to stay together through the tough times rather than instantly look for the less painful, or time consuming solution. Ask yourself if you aren't giving 100% toward the marriage, or if you're really just looking for the easy way out.
There is no such thing as a completely perfect marriage, and couples who say they have one are either fooling themselves or not being very honest. Everyone has differences or issues to resolve now and again. Add children, mortgages, bills, and the stressors of work to the picture and it's easy to see why some marriages get put to the wayside.
3.) Do you have children together?
Before thinking that having a child together is in itself a good enough reason to stay together, remember that adolescents are often faced with a host of troubling issues as it is, without adding the trials of dealing with a failing marriage into the mix.
In many cases, a divorce is, unfortunately, the best answer, as children who are raised in a hostile environment often learn bad parenting and relationship techniques themselves, putting them at a distinct disadvantage when starting out their own lives on the right foot.
4.) Is infidelity involved in your decision to stay married or seek a divorce?
If infidelity has become a deciding factor in whether or not a marriage is worth saving, it depends on both spouses to decide if they're willing to live in the present, and look toward improving the future without dwelling on the past.
5.) Is there abuse involved?
Abuse, whether physical or mental, leaves long-lasting scars that won't ever heal if the situation isn't rectified some way or another. An abusive relationship in any capacity will rarely improve or change for the better, and there's no reason for anyone to allow themselves to be abused while merely wishing or hoping that the situation goes away.
While divorce certainly isn't a decision to take lightly, many people mistakenly act too soon before weighing all of their options or fully contemplating the consequences of either separating, or actively trying to work on their relationship.
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