My 22 year old son has kicked down doors in Iraq and charged into buildings.
Wounded his first deployment at age 18 he returned for a second and then
volunteered for Afghanistan. Where does he find the courage and strength
that I cannot find. I made my wife my entire life.
White collar job, 75 mile one way commute - I leave home at 6:00 AM and
retrun at 8:30PM or later - often to a sleeping house.
I work Saturdays at least five hours in the office.
And I often raised my voice in my marriage to be dramatic and to make my
displeasure known.
How stupid.
In the past year I have put more than 200 hours into counseling for myself
and anger management.
But she seems gone and there is lots of evidence of cheating.
That hurts but was also the catalyst to make me face up to the fact that
my yelling at home (even if it was but once every three or four months)
was damaging. My wife is gentle and not raised the way I was.
I so need the strength to face the uncertainty.
Should I stay?
Will she stay?
Sometimes the uncertainty is its own brand of hell.
Anyone been here and survived either married or divorced?
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