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Conversation: Less than a year of marriage, he hits, manipulates, controls... and finally I had it!
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Started by: confusedbutgrowing
on: 09/12/2009 05:39 PM |
We had been married less than a year... the verbal, emotional, and physical abuse started almost immediately after we were married. He slapped me at the airport when we were checking in for the flight on the way back from the wedding. I was in shock.
I didn't leave. I just continued to take it. He really hurt me the next time after tackling me in the closet and punching and shaking me. All I remember is that he felt I hadn't respected him. He then proceeded to lock me in our master bedroom that evening. The following morning he demanded that I wear something with long sleeves as we went to Thanksgiving dinner at his brother's house 3 hours away so my bruises would not be visible. His brother asked to speak to me alone after he accidentally called me my husband's first wife's name. I begged that he would talk to his brother and showed him some of the bruises and marks he had left on me. To no avail.
My husband has a serious rage issue. He would fly into a temper tantrum likable to that of a 2 year old when he didn't get his way. Finally, I just tried to give him his way. But, I never could. His vision was ever changing, and I never could match up to it.
I have just been in survival mode. The abuse just got worse and worse. May 11 he hurt me really badly again but began crying and threatening suicide when he realized what he had done to me. I never called the police. I should have.
It's hard for me to understand why I stayed in this relationship. He started threatening divorce very early on - just so I would do what he was demanding. Hard to believe... but my husband left June 7. Why? Because I called him an a$$hole. I thought he was going to kill me that day. I had enough of his torment. I finally started to grow stronger after not being beat down daily. I finally woke up one day after he left and realized that I got to sleep through the whole night without him keeping me up arguing about something. I finally realized that I didn't live in fear on a daily basis. So, I filed for divorce. I couldn't live like this any longer.
Now, he is dragging his feet. He is not contributing toward the mortgage on the house that we bought together 2 months before he left although he said he would pay his half directly - he never has. I just don't understand that he wants to ruin his credit rating. What is his goal to break me financially?
He continues to drag this out because that is the only way he controls me now. |
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Conversation: I'm an angry female
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Started by: Damaris11220
on: 09/07/2009 03:11 PM |
Yesterday I verbally attacked and abused my boyfriend of 2yrs in front of his 6yr old and now I feel like a monster
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| 1 commentsLast comment: 09/09/2009 12:23 PM |
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Conversation: HELPLESS
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Started by: nicole.mm
on: 07/10/2009 01:41 AM |
| I recently ended a physically abusive relationship of 2 1/2 years about 3 months ago. I just woke up one day and couldn't look my self in the mirrow and know that she lies, cheats, and has really been using me for a meal ticket. The first year and a half was very abusive. She got locked up fo 3 months and when she got out, I made a HUGE mistake out of lonliness and took her back. We found a nice apt. and moved into a new place, since the prior 2 places asked me to leave due to the fighting. The last couple of months has been a big test. I know that she doesn't have any immediate place to go, and I figured since she did contribute to furnishing the new apt., and bills, etc...that until she got herself on her feet, our living together would be civil. Last night we got into a physical fight after discussing money she owed me for rent and bills. After handing me money, she made a comment like "oh now I have no money for myself." I got upset and said "If you just asked to keep a couple bucks for yourself you wouldn't have to put on this I-feel-sorry-for-myself act. She went into the other room and I took a chance and looked into her wallet. She DID have money, and no suprise was lying to me, as usual. I lost it! I took the money and threw it in her face and said basically that somethings will never change and other stuff. She said a lot of painful and embarassing things about me being a recovering addict very loud, waking up my neighbors. Then she threatened that if I did anything to get her in trouble with the law, she would make it so I could never see my children again. I have been getting my children on weekends, and I am in recovery. All she has to do is make phone calls to my social worker or my mother who has temp. custody, and that would start World War III. True or Not. I begged her to please leave. I said for her to take everything, the furniture, whatever, just please leave me alone. She could move into her brothers house if she wanted, but will not. I am soooo scared. She knows there is nothing I can do. If I go to the Law, she will try to sabotage my relationship with my children, my job, my housing, and I know would try to break into the house while I am at work. I've gotten a restraining order on her before. She was in jail for 3 months for physical abuse / attempted murder, but I was too scared to testify. I am scared and helpless. Mentally, since breaking up with her I have gotten some dignity and self confidence back. My low self esteem and lonliness in the past is what kept driving me to take her back. I know this is probably a very long entry, but any feedback at this point would really help. I don't really have any friends cuz since I've been in recovery, I just stick to myself. I really need some advice. |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 07/29/2009 11:14 AM |
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Conversation: false allegations
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Started by: leeman
on: 03/20/2009 08:12 PM |
| My wifes lawyer told her to file an abuse claim and told her to state that I threatend to kill her. The whole thing was made up. The rules of evidence are such that I did not have a chance in court. I was told I could go to the house by the judge and my wifes lawyer when I complained. Then five days later I'm told to stay out of the house because I'm considered an immenant threat. I had not raised a hand to anyone in my life since I was 15 yrs old I am 40 now. The whole thing is unbelivable. I think the courts and lawyers are out of control. The legislaure has not done all they should to protect the public from what is happening in the courts. |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 03/21/2009 04:52 AM |
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Conversation: Emotional Abuser still making me cry
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Started by: DJGirl
on: 03/06/2009 10:01 PM |
I was hoping to find a chat on this site. The posts are old and no one replies.
I was married for 7 years, this is my second marriage and I have 4 children.
I hear all of you and your despair. I am on here because I have been crying for 3 days straight. I wanted a divorce before. I actually thought about how much happier I would be. My husband was an emotional abuser. I believe he was also a cheater from emails that I found and the fact that his old girlfriend called here for him.
Whenever I was upset by the way he treated me he would wait to apologize after getting angry. Sometimes if I pushed for his understanding he would threaten to leave me. So then it would end up me apologizing to him.
There were so many very mean things that he did to me. Why am I crying? I am upset because he treated me like crap and now is out running around with his friends having a good time while I am at home with 4 kids and knowing that he is spending their child support at the bar tonight. He has sent us nothing. He actually had the mortgage sent to another address that I know nothing about.
Ah well I am just venting. I am trying to be at least angry instead of the crying and sad doormat that he has made me. |
| 4 commentsLast comment: 09/14/2009 03:54 PM |
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Conversation: Does it work?
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Started by: cwap
on: 03/04/2009 07:12 PM |
| I am new to this online support group do you really get support from this online group. What should I expect being a part of this group? |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 03/13/2009 09:33 AM |
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Conversation: Wife batters Husband
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Started by: Abused Male
on: 11/25/2008 07:29 PM |
| I am a man, my wife got very drunk and started beating me ( hitting in the face and choking me). my sister tried to pull her off and my wife attacked her, hitting her in the face with a Mag-Lite flashlite resulting in multiple teeth being knocked out, cuncussion and temporary loss of conciousness. the police and EMS came and arrested her for assaualt and battery against her spouse (ME) and issued an emergency protective order against her that I pettioned the court to extend. If the Protective Order gets to be a permanent one (2 years), do I have to pay for her living expenses (rent, food,so on so on) until we get a divorce even though she is in the complete wrong? Remember, I am the male, does that matter? Where does the law state anything pertaining to a "different" type of spousal abuse such as this....I cant be the only abused male out here but no one seems to know where the laws on where the financial resposibility line is drawn.. PLEASE help me...its not a pride issue with me, I just want to do the right thing from the get go so I dont suffer from making the wrong decision. |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 03/01/2009 04:17 PM |
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Conversation: ???
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Started by: movingon
on: 11/03/2008 08:07 PM |
| I meant we were married less than 2 yrs |
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Conversation: ???
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Started by: movingon
on: 11/03/2008 08:05 PM |
I had my husband arrested for assault he then filed a restraining order against me .. He moved out I will have a hearing for the restrainig order in 10days
Can I ask for support we have only been married less tha a yr
Please help |
| 1 commentsLast comment: 11/04/2008 11:23 PM |
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Conversation: Abusive Husband?
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Started by: DEE
on: 10/14/2008 04:29 PM |
Hi,
Ive been married for 14 years, have 2 boys, 15 and 12. Now I am considering a divorce or seperation. Here is the problem. My husband is so attatched to me it drives me crazy. He says that he does everything for me to keep me home and not to go and see my family all the time or my friends or not want to go back to school. All the time?...I may stop any see my sister 1 night a week. Now I want to take a first responder class and he is having a total fit. Saying that I dont want to be home with him and I need to start acting like a wife and mother and not out doing stuff. I have been with this man since I was 15 years old, he is 10 years older than me. When I was younger he did physically abuse me and about 3 years ago he physically abused me again and I told him that if it happened again I would leave. But guess what, it happened again in January and he did it in front of our kids and my parents. I feel like such a loser because I promised myself I wouldnt put up with that no more and I dont want my kids growing up thinking that it is ok. But Im still with him. We are having alot of problems now and it is because of that and his behavior. His family cant believe I have been with him this long but I dont want to hurt anybody. (him and the kids) He has held me back from so many things and now I want to better myself and it's a constant battle with him. I am going to see a domestic violence counselor Saturday but Im looking for some more opinions. Am I a bad mom/wife because I want to take 1 class a week from 6pm-10pm and like to spend time with my sister and mom? I think he is being way too possesive over me and its getting worse. Yes, I have had an affair a number of years ago (I wanted to leave before that happened and he talked me out of it) and he probably doesnt trust me. I wanted to split then and he wouldnt allow that. Since he wanted to stay together he needs to trust me, I know its hard but all he is doing is pushing me away. And it wasnt with some complete stranger, it was someone that I have dated before. Please help. |
| 3 commentsLast comment: 10/21/2008 11:02 AM |
